Does it blow your mind?
by Leviathan Castiel
Summary: Ik stupid title. I'm working on it. Au. Destiel, sabriel and wincest. The whole shabang. Doesn't make sense yet, but it will! Alright guys. Knock yourselves out. :) reviews are appreciated! (T for language.)


Castiel swung around with the gun poised expertly in his hand. A poltergeist was haunting this cemetery. Surprise surprise. But Castiel couldn't find the gravestone for the stupid dead guy. "Gabriel! Do you see it?!" Castiel demanded twirling on his heel again.  
"No!" Gabriel's tired voice called back. A pause. Then excitedly, "but cas! Dude! It's candy! Who knew a poltergeist-"  
"Don't eat it gabe! It's a trick!" Castiel ordered, suddenly a lot more interested where that grave was. And where Gabriel was. "Gabriel!"  
Castiel backed towards where Gabriel's voice had come from. He could hear moans and sighs behind one of the graves. "Oh man cas. You gotta try this stuff. It's like... Chocolate!" Gabriel moaned happily. He had chocolate smeared all over his face and even some in his hair. His fingers were lathered in some gooey substance that Castiel didn't even want to think about. It was gross.  
"Gabriel. Stop. It probably lured you in and-" Castiel suddenly snapped to attention and he crouched lower and set his gun up to fire in case any unwanted intruders happened to show up.  
"But... Cassy... I can't stop. It's just... Yummy," Gabriel sighed and picked up another chocolate bar that had materialized out of nothing.  
Castiel stared at the chocolate bar in confusion. "Gabe. Things don't materialize like that... They... Gabe... Something's off."  
"Yeah. Your attitude. Golly cas. You never have any fun," Gabriel stuffed the whole thing in his mouth and Castiel gagged in disgust.  
"You do realize that that is detrimental to your health, right Gabriel?" Castiel stiffened as he heard a crackle of leaves.  
"Oh yah. That," Gabriel shoved another one into his mouth, smacking his lips around it cheerily. "You're a killjoy," he mumbled around the chocolate bar.  
Castiel ignored Gabriel and instead peeked around the headstone and found himself staring at a pair of ripped jeans and worn boots. He followed the clothes up until he found the beings face. The green eyes held a look asking them 'are you fucking serious?!'  
Castiel shot a few of the bullets of rock salt into the persons leg unsure of what to do besides that.  
"Son of a bitch!"  
Not a ghost. Castiel made a mental note.  
Gabriel glanced up at the person, grinning around a mouthful of brightly colored pieces of candy and another chocolate bar. "We'll howdy. I thought the ghost was another old guy."  
The man hobbled around rubbing his legs furiously and looking at the hole where the rock-salt bullets went in.  
"He's not the poltergeist Gabriel," Castiel stood up slowly as he softly corrected Gabriel. "And if you're not the poltergeist, who are you?"  
The man smirked and said,"well to you... I'm Alice Cooper."  
"Alice Cooper?" Castiel asked in confusion.  
Gabriel sighed and munched up the last of yet another chocolate bar. "Don't let im fool you Cassy. That's the lead singer in that one band."  
"That one band?!" The man scoffed. "Its only one of the greatest singers of all time. And the group is called Alice Cooper." He shook his head in disappointment. "You people are so uneducated these days."  
"I am... I graduated..." Castiel stammered.  
Gabriel made eye contact with his brother and simply said, "Shut up Cas. He doesn't mean that."  
"I like you," the man leaned over the tombstone and smirked at the Gabriel. "But you..." He pointed at Castiel. "You're interesting." He stared at the baffled, blue eyed hunter and swung himself around until he was sitting on the headstone.  
"Interesting?" Castiel murmured, not sure how to respond.  
The man smiled. "Yeah, it's a good thing though." Castiel made eye contact and he scrutinized the unbelievable green of the mans eyes.  
"So, Mr. Macho what's your name?" Gabriel snapped, having had enough of their intense staring.  
"Well, I am called Michael." The man shrugged. Castiel couldn't help himself but study the man. The way his lips curved in a smirk and spoke of endless humor, but held pain behind it. The way his eyes sparkled. The way he glowed with radiance and a higher feeling.  
"Michael, that name... Suits you..." Castiel offered uncomfortably. Something irked him about the name. It didn't fit. He seemed more like a...  
"Well I hope so. My father chose it for me. One of the only things he chose for me..." He bit his lip and smiled sadly.  
"May I ask what happened?" Castiel asked quietly.  
"Well I never met my mother. Don't have one. My father... He just left after I could look after all my siblings." Michael shrugged and asked, "So, now that I've shared my name, what are yours?"  
"Well, I'm Gabriel and Mr. Intense over here is Castiel. And our parents weren't around either. Our mom died in labor with castiel. Our dad was always hunting or away. I've taken care of little Cassy since... Forever." He ruffled Castiel's already unruly hair.  
Castiel shied away from the touch. He looked sheepishly at Michael, who's broad shoulders and soft-looking dirty blonde hair were helpfully distracting at the moment. "Dad died a few years ago," he whispered breathlessly. He didn't even know why he was saying it. He never talked about his dad dying. He'd always loved his dad. Even more than Gabriel who had had him more to himself than Castiel ever did.  
"I'm sorry," Michael reached out and let his hand hover over Castiel's shoulder, before pulling it back and biting his lip uncertainly.  
Michael and Castiel fell into another intense staring contest.  
"Oh for the love of-" Gabriel rolled his eyes.  
"Gabriel," Castiel said tonelessly without breaking the eye contact. "Do not take our fathers name in vain."  
"Yeah yeah church boy. Got it." Gabriel tossed brightly colored candies into his mouth subconsciously.  
Michael swayed under Castiel's gaze after a minute, and he looked away unable to think at all anymore. His mind was completely blank. "Uhh..."  
"Yes?" Castiel prompted.  
"Gabriel... You like the candy?" Michael said focusing his attention elsewhere.  
"This candy?" Gabriel opened his mouth to reveal a disgusting amount of sugar coating his teeth and tongue. "Love it. And it never seems to run out. Why?"  
"No reason," Michael offered too quickly, chuckling to himself. He blinked hard and Gabriel's pile of candy replenished. He suddenly shot bolt straight up. "I got it. Hehehe. You guys wanna see a magic trick?"  
Castiel stammered, "Magic is not-"  
"Sure Mikey. Lets see this magic trick," Gabriel said skeptically.  
Michael smiled and winked at Castiel before clapping his hands together. He started murmuring words in another language that Castiel had never heard before.  
"Do you know what language that is?" Gabriel whispered so quietly Castiel barely heard it. Castiel shook his head and pursed his lips trying to distinguish what it was.  
Michael rubbed his hands together and with a dramatic, "shazam!" He pulled his hands apart and a humongous man was suddenly standing between his arms.  
"Luci!" Michael cheerily yelled. Wrapping his arms around the too tall mans waist. "It's me! Michael!  
Castiel and Gabriel looked at each other in shock. Gabriel turned to study Sam ferociously. Castiel blinked slowly and stared at the man. He had long brown hair and a billowing white robe. It wrapped around his bare, effortlessly muscled chest with ease. His pants were shimmering with gold. Gabriel seemed to lean towards the man in curiosity.  
"Michael?!" The man said irritatedly. "Michael! Let go of me. How dare you. I was preoccupied. The shame on you." The man, Luci, looked god-like.  
"Are you Jesus?" Gabriel asked stupidly. Castiel whacked his arm and Gabriel barely moved. "Are you?"  
Luci stared at Gabriel and Castiel darkly before asking with obvious irritation, "Michael. Why am I in the midst of humans? I am above them." He pried Michael's arms off of his waist and shook off any feelings of being touched.  
"Well, Lucille-"  
"My name is not Lucille."  
"Fine then," Michael scrunched up his nose as if to say 'I don't care what you think.' He started softly, "Lucille," and then continued with a cough. "We are supposed to be bonding."  
"With mortals?"  
"Yes, with mortals." Michael rolled his eyes. "The humans. Lucifer, they aren't that bad."  
"Are you Jesus?" Gabriel repeated exasperated.  
Luci sighed and coldly answered, "No. I am not a mortal."  
"Well than what are you?" Castiel demanded, obviously the only one still with wits between the two brothers.  
Michael smiled at Castiel softly. "What do you think we are?"  
"Well... I perceived you as a trickster because of all the sweets," Castiel answered as if he'd suspected it all along. "Are you?"  
"Nope," Michael chuckled. "But that's a new one. Man. Last time I ran into one of you hunters they were like demon! Shifter! Witch! Poltergeist!" Michael mimicked in an overly high voice.  
"Speaking of which..." Gabriel recalled. "Weren't we hunting one?"  
"Yes Gabriel. We were," Castiel said accusingly. "Until you stumbled upon this pile of candy. I don't believe there is a poltergeist here. Just a trickster." He looked strangely excited at the news.  
"I already told you," Michael said exasperatedly. "I'm not a trickster. And yeah... There was no poltergeist. Those things are just nuisances."  
Castiel tilted his head in confusion. "You're not a trickster?"  
"No. He is not a trickster. He is an angel. Of The Lord. A member of the garrison. Now, we have bonded with these humans, can we return to heaven?" Luci asked testily.  
Castiel and Gabriel gaped at each other. Gabriel even stopped eating candy. "You... Angels... Wings... Both..." Gabriel struggled to word his thoughts.  
"My brother is suffering from shock," Castiel jumped in. "I believe he was trying to figure out if you two are lying or not. We've only heard of a few angels walking amongst the humans. We try to avoid angels, because our pasts with them are not... Good."  
"What do ya mean?" Michael asked cradling his chin in his hand and his elbow on his knee.  
Gabriel raised his eyebrow. "What's it to you? Hmm? We just don't affiliate with angels anymore. We've had our share of shit from them."  
"Gabriel," Castiel scolded. "They've done nothing wrong. We might as well tell them."  
"Fine. Whatever. You tell em though. I'm gonna eat some-wait. You were making the candy appear weren't you?" Gabriel realized with wide eyes.  
Michael chuckled and held up his hands in surrender. "Guilty!" He blinked hard again and a fresh pile of sweets appeared. "Enjoy em. They're not half bad."  
Gabriel stared at the pile of sweets hesitantly before diving in and starting to gorge himself. "Half-bad?! They're fucking heaven."  
"That's the spirit," Michael half-smiled, then turned to stare at Castiel with wide eyes. "Now, what's this angelical backstory of yours?"  
Castiel shuffled his feet for a few moments. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "A few years ago, Gabriel died." Michael raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. "And I didn't... I couldn't cope without him. I just fell apart." Castiel slid onto the headstone next to Michael tiredly. "And so I sold my soul." Luci perked up with sudden interest. Michael put his hand on Castiel's knee in a comforting gesture. "Most people get ten years. I only got one. After my year was up, well, I went to Hell."  
Luci stepped forward, recognition sliding onto his face. "Cas-"  
Michael shot him a deadly look. "Go on," he encouraged softly.  
"Well... Turns out, the actions I performed in Hell sent a chain of events in motion. And I was the only one who could stop it. So, an angel came and raised me from perdition. It was the first time I'd ever met or heard of a real angel," Castiel shivered with the memories. He rarely talked about this. Even with Gabriel.  
Gabriel looked up at Castiel and patted Castiel's leg. He sent a sympathetic look at the distressed hunter and offered him a candy bar. Castiel shook his head and ruffled Gabriel's hair to show appreciation.  
Castiel continued. "His name was Denestiel. And he had brothers that he would rarely talk about, except for one. Samson. Samson was his closest brother. They shared everything. Except for me. Denestiel saved me when no one else could. Samson was jealous. He had wanted to do something that important."  
"I highly doubt he was too jealous. I mean-" Luci interrupted before Michael cut him off again with a glaring look. "Nevermind. Just... Keep going," Luci murmured.  
"Well anyways... I got close to him. Denestiel. Really close-" Castiel mumbled uncomfortably.  
Gabriel chose that moment to intervene. "And so the hunter fell in love with the angel. Beautiful right? Only thing wrong was that if the angel chose to fall in love with the hunter he'd have to fall and have his Grace ripped from his soul. So... Being the scared angel he was he didn't. And broke Cassy's heart. He's just a big SOB if you ask me. And that's why we don't hang with angels anymore."  
"Well, if its any condolence, we know these Denestiel and Samson guys... Pretty lameass angels if you ask me," Michael sighed and continued. "It's messed up that they were the first angels you met."  
"Yeah. Sound like dicks," Luci said angrily.  
Gabriel tilted his head in the same manner Castiel did. "You're not agreeing?" He asked Luci.  
"Oh!" Luci looked surprised to have even been talked to. "Um... No, I'm not. But I have a bias. So he's probably the more accurate judge." He gestured towards Michael.  
"C'mon Cas. These guys are just... Angels. Lets go," Gabriel grabbed Castiel's hand and pulled him up and away from Michael's hand. He picked up his own gun and walked away still holding tightly onto Castiel.  
Once the two hunters were out of earshot Luci turned to Michael and hissed, "Michael? You're pretending to be Michael? Out of all of the angels? For Pete's sake." He ran a hand through his hair.  
"Well, obviously I couldn't tell them who I was, especially considering the circumstances," Michael sighed.  
"You need to tell them. Otherwise they'll just be more ticked off when they find out," Luci countered.  
"Whatever Samantha."  
"My name is Samson."

Hey Fellow fans. Just reminding you that reviews are always welcome. I'll try to get the next chapter up sometime soon. :)


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